She was there. He was beside her. Side by side in their wheelchairs pushed up close to the edge of the pond at Centennial park. I took a second look as I ran past them on my late night run underneath the moon. It was a strange sight- especially with it being so very late.....but stranger still was the fact that they were Fishing. Yes, Fishing. Poles in hand - side by side. Catching anything? Nope. Let's be honest, if they were to get a bite, the fish would be pulling THEM in : ) So what were they doing? What in the world were they doing there at 9 p.m. at night in their wheelchairs and their fishing poles?
Being with each other. Just being with each other.
Companions. Friends. Partners. Fishing Buddies.
I have been in thought lately about love: What is it? How do you sustain it? What is the "secret?" I have learned that maybe the secret is not merely to love - but it is to LEARN to love WELL. I think that amazing relationships come when women learn to love and understand men well, and men learn to love and understand women well - and when we all do so in the image of the author and perfecter of love......which basically means that true love in its purest form is a golden opportunity to die to self, swallow pride, and to give out of a place of "the sacrifice of the will". When that happens, power struggles begin to lose their grip and what is best for the relationship overrides what is desired at the moment.There is something about a marriage that gives you a unique opportunity to love in the most unselfish and sacrificial way possible. It is truly more precious to be happy than to be right.
And maybe loving isn't about finding someone who makes you feel more loved, complete, or happy. If that were true, then what happens when they stop making you feel loved, complete, or happy? Maybe God's purpose of marriage was much more about finding a partner - a teammate - to serve Him WITH instead of clinging to someone who fills you UP. Maybe it's less about looking AT the other person and looking FOR the cork. Yes, I said the cork (or bobber for those who are not from the country : ). Stay with me.....
Those two wheelchair fishing buddies - I never saw their faces. Never heard their words. But I have kept that image in my mind, and it has spoken much wisdom to me. This is what I have heard. Watch the cork. The purpose of marriage is to find your best friend to serve with, love with, learn from, and fish with.....with the goal of looking outward to the horizon to see how God can use your coupleship to serve Him, His children, or your children. It is not to look to each other for completion or security. Maybe it's to sit beside each other on late moonlit nights, walk beside each other, run along side each other in the loudest of cheers, or sometimes to simply stay with each other......loving.......serving.....watching the cork. Looking TOWARD His plans for you as a ministry team, instead of looking TO each other for happiness.
Having been on both sides of the marriage fence, I certainly don't have all the answers. I have lived and I have learned and I have seen......an elderly couple sitting beside each other in their wheelchairs fishing under the moonlight, and somehow in this world of division - they have given me hope : )
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
i am a fly
I am a fly. I am a fly on the wall. Standing back and watching reactions to broken nest eggs, falling dreams, and bailing outs. And I have seen Fear in it's purest form. As a rule, I try not to speak on topics I know little about. Ignorance is often most blissful when it restrains itself. Most of you know that I don't really have a TV. If I am near one - it's usually involving ESPN or something having to do with a ball. I would much rather be lost in a book or movie or on a blanket next to Walden Pond. But times are a'changin - in more ways than one. I have been drawn to "the box" lately....not to watch the falling of the numbers or the planning of the rescue - but of the reactions. I have listened and I have learned and I have wondered. What is it that we are truly most afraid of? And if the very thing we fear the most comes to pass - will we (as America and as a people) be o.k.? And what does it mean to be "o.k."? There is a great saying I have held to.
"Everything is o.k. in the end and if it's not o.k., it's not the end."
It has given me pause. Coming most recently from a country where wealth is not a real possibility and basic needs have little to do with anything other than food and insecure safety, I look at our world much differently. I have had to. It has given me a different perspective on what we actually need in our lives, and the misconceptions we all buy into regarding what that means. I have a theory - I have many theories. I often talk about what I "saw" in Congo and then what I "learned" in Congo....What I learned is that when people have such limited choices on how they live - they suddenly find a way of being content. They have to. They have no other choice. But (as in our case) if the choices are there and if the options are present - it breeds a Discontentment. Disappointment in self-created expectations rears its ugly head, and Fear is born. When you do not have financial security, then True Wealth must be based on the ability to have little and find contentment. Yes, it is much easier said than done.
Emerson says that if we face the very thing we fear the most it becomes the death of the fear itself. So I say all of that to ask this: What are we really afraid of? Loosing our retirement. Loosing part of our savings. Loosing our ability to pay our bills. Loosing our comfort. What do we REALLY TRULY need to survive as a person, as a people, as a family. If we tangibly lost EVERYTHING, and we had absolutely nothing else but each other - would we still be o.k.? In the end, would everything really be o.k? Would it be what we had hoped for? no. Would it be what we had wished for? no. Would it even be what we thought it would be, planned it would be, dreamed it would be? no. no. and no. But would it be o.k.? In the end......
I am a fly - a fly who watches the world around her in humble thought. Watching as we compare ourselves to each other, stumble up ladders, and climb mountains that never cease to grow. When that which we value and think we cannot live without becomes fragile then Fear comes with it's most gallant of horses. When that which we lean upon for our security or happiness begins to give way, we - naturally - search around for something else to hold on to. It is natural, normal - even wise. You see, its not the leaning that comes into question. It is the thing that we lean upon. Through my long-lived years of mis-living, God has taught me much. He has taught me this: He is the ONLY thing in life that will never cease to exist or go away.....and when He is all we have, He (whether we realize it or even believe it) becomes all we need. It is Him and only Him who we can truly at a core level - Trust.
The SPIRIT OF AMERICA does not lie in the dollar (we proved that when we survived the Great Depression).
The SPIRIT OF AMERICA does not lie in living the "American Dream" or pursing financial wealth to feed a false sense of security.
The SPIRIT OF AMERICA does not lie in anything you can see, taste, or even touch. It lies in our bond of BEING the people of the United States of America. That is not anything that can be taken away with crashing markets, elected candidates, or even our country going in a direction that we fear......all of those things will happen.
The SPIRIT OF AMERICA is based on a bond that started years ago with small talk around a table and dreams around a fire. It is a common thread of living - of liberty - and in pursuing happiness....as a people, as a nation, in our families and in our homes. And if happiness is actually contentment. And true contentment is actually found in surviving on little and still being at peace - then won't we really be "o.k."?
Lord God- in this place of unrest and removal - my heart hears you calling in the strongest of voices.....cutting past the noise of falling numbers and crashing markets. I ask that you blow away the rains of Fear and remove the scales from our eyes as we look upon all that glitters - realizing that it TRULY isn't gold at all. Bless our nation - feed the American Spirit - and remind us that it is in you that we have and do put our Trust.
And Trusting I am,
Yours, b
"Everything is o.k. in the end and if it's not o.k., it's not the end."
It has given me pause. Coming most recently from a country where wealth is not a real possibility and basic needs have little to do with anything other than food and insecure safety, I look at our world much differently. I have had to. It has given me a different perspective on what we actually need in our lives, and the misconceptions we all buy into regarding what that means. I have a theory - I have many theories. I often talk about what I "saw" in Congo and then what I "learned" in Congo....What I learned is that when people have such limited choices on how they live - they suddenly find a way of being content. They have to. They have no other choice. But (as in our case) if the choices are there and if the options are present - it breeds a Discontentment. Disappointment in self-created expectations rears its ugly head, and Fear is born. When you do not have financial security, then True Wealth must be based on the ability to have little and find contentment. Yes, it is much easier said than done.
Emerson says that if we face the very thing we fear the most it becomes the death of the fear itself. So I say all of that to ask this: What are we really afraid of? Loosing our retirement. Loosing part of our savings. Loosing our ability to pay our bills. Loosing our comfort. What do we REALLY TRULY need to survive as a person, as a people, as a family. If we tangibly lost EVERYTHING, and we had absolutely nothing else but each other - would we still be o.k.? In the end, would everything really be o.k? Would it be what we had hoped for? no. Would it be what we had wished for? no. Would it even be what we thought it would be, planned it would be, dreamed it would be? no. no. and no. But would it be o.k.? In the end......
I am a fly - a fly who watches the world around her in humble thought. Watching as we compare ourselves to each other, stumble up ladders, and climb mountains that never cease to grow. When that which we value and think we cannot live without becomes fragile then Fear comes with it's most gallant of horses. When that which we lean upon for our security or happiness begins to give way, we - naturally - search around for something else to hold on to. It is natural, normal - even wise. You see, its not the leaning that comes into question. It is the thing that we lean upon. Through my long-lived years of mis-living, God has taught me much. He has taught me this: He is the ONLY thing in life that will never cease to exist or go away.....and when He is all we have, He (whether we realize it or even believe it) becomes all we need. It is Him and only Him who we can truly at a core level - Trust.
The SPIRIT OF AMERICA does not lie in the dollar (we proved that when we survived the Great Depression).
The SPIRIT OF AMERICA does not lie in living the "American Dream" or pursing financial wealth to feed a false sense of security.
The SPIRIT OF AMERICA does not lie in anything you can see, taste, or even touch. It lies in our bond of BEING the people of the United States of America. That is not anything that can be taken away with crashing markets, elected candidates, or even our country going in a direction that we fear......all of those things will happen.
The SPIRIT OF AMERICA is based on a bond that started years ago with small talk around a table and dreams around a fire. It is a common thread of living - of liberty - and in pursuing happiness....as a people, as a nation, in our families and in our homes. And if happiness is actually contentment. And true contentment is actually found in surviving on little and still being at peace - then won't we really be "o.k."?
Lord God- in this place of unrest and removal - my heart hears you calling in the strongest of voices.....cutting past the noise of falling numbers and crashing markets. I ask that you blow away the rains of Fear and remove the scales from our eyes as we look upon all that glitters - realizing that it TRULY isn't gold at all. Bless our nation - feed the American Spirit - and remind us that it is in you that we have and do put our Trust.
And Trusting I am,
Yours, b
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