All For You

Sitting on the floor of my condo, they knelt down beside of me. On the concrete. Daddy to my left. Mom to my right. They had gotten down on the floor to pray with me before leaving.

Surrounded by paint, art supplies, anti-bacterial gel and piles of randomness. I was re-packing my suitcase for Africa. They were getting ready to leave the next morning to drive to Virginia where they were going on a door knocking campaign to reach those who needed God.

We circled up, sitting on the floor and held hands. Dad started praying and, for whatever reason, it was all I could do to keep from crying. I don't remember his words. I don't have to.

What I do remember is that they seemed to be some of the rawest, most authentic, humbling words I have heard. Simply words. Straight words.

Forgive us for we are sinners and are in desperate need of you... words. Words that quickly put us in a place of being the Created and God in the place of Creator.

I am sitting on a plane headed to Africa at this moment. Delayed. On the runway. My heart so full that I have to get out my computer and start typing before my passion begins to give way to forgetting how remarkable that moment was. I am in thought today about this word:

Authenticity.

Maybe because I think I lack it sometimes. Maybe because I crave it so badly. Maybe because I am in awe of it. Yes, I honor it. Authenticity. Originality. Realness. Rawness. Brave - It's only for the Brave.

Definition?

authenticity - undisputed credibility genuineness, legitimacy believability, credibility, credibleness - the quality of being believable or trustworthy real McCoy, real stuff, real thing - informal usage attributing authenticity

Based on WordNet 3.0, Farlex clipart collection. © 2003-2008 Princeton University, Farlex Inc.

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authenticity

noun

1. genuineness, purity, realness, veritableness Some factors have cast doubt on the statue's authentcity.

2. accuracy, truth, certainty, validity, reliability, legitimacy, verity, actuality, faithfulness,truthfulness, dependability, trustworthiness

All those words I strive for..... and I have to admit (being real) I have been in a place of numbness. My soul is weary and tired. A place of walking through life like I'm going through the motions and pulling from deep places to even take the tiny steps. And when THAT becomes real, then being Un-Authentic becomes somewhat of a survival. We've all been there.

What does it mean? What does it REALLY mean?

When push comes to shove it simply means Being True. Being Pure. Being You.

We try so hard to be someone we aren't that we never find out who we are.

Or we become entangled in the facebook, iPhone, text message relationship web of False Intimacy and we never find True "Authentic Look in my Eyes when I tell you of my Greatest Fears and my Wildest Dreams" Love. We stay so connected to so many objects that we forget to Breath or Feel or Play or Dance or share time together around a table - or on a concrete floor. Counting notifications, likes, unlikes, be-likes and we forget.... What ..... We ..... Like.

INTIMACY: IN ~ TO ~ ME ~ SEE

But fear of truly being Known at the risk of not being Loved takes over the deep soul survival of True Communion with others.

I see Authenticity at the purest level in children and when I go "home" to Kentucky............. and in Africa. One of the purest most genuine and most gracious people you will meet. Just being around them makes me more grounded and real, and I leave having a fear that I will loose the fairy dust of Genuineness they have brushed off on me. I often do.

In this world of plastic people and plastic dreams and plastic cards that buy plastic things - I sit on this Big Bird of a Plane looking out the window Dreaming of Dancing in the rain that keeps us sitting here and I listen to Jars of Clay sing....

"Sitting silent wearing Sunday best. The sermon echos through the walls. Calls to the people who stare into nowhere who can't feel the chains on their souls.

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heaven. Close as a heartbeat or songs on our lips.

Someday well trust Him and learn how to see Him

Someday He'll call us and we will come running

We'll fall in His arms. The tears will fall down and well pray -

"I want. To fall in love. With you"

Mother Teresa said this to me today,

"There is much suffering in the world - very much. Suffering from hunger, from homelessness, from all kinds of diseases. But I still think the greatest suffering is being lonely, being unwanted, being unloved, just having no one, having forgotten what it is to have the human touch, human love.."

MAY WE BE KNOWN AND TAKE THE RISK OF RAWNESS.

It's takes much less energy than hiding.

Engine starting.... off we go

Lord, Help me to be Brave. To be Real. To find Authenticity at the core level. To Be the truest version of myself. I have a deep feeling these next few weeks are going to be as much about taking me to far away soulful places as it is being used to heal tiny broken hearts.

For you

All For You.

Yours, b