Do you ever write things that come from your soul - maybe from you spirit, but you aren't sure what they mean? Sometimes they are letters making up words making up sentences, but more often than not....the represent something deeper. For me, it's often something I think God is trying to tell me. Maybe something that I'm not learning very well.
I often find myself getting into the "zone" as I like to call it and writing from a place beyond myself - even sometimes picking up something I wrote on a random piece of paper that has fallen in between my night-stand and my bed and wondering....wait, did I write that? Or maybe I was just "a tiny pencil in the hand of a writing God..." as Mother Teresa once said. Regardless, tonight was one of those nights. I witnessed the sunset on the backdrop of the War Memorial Cross. Breathtaking. I had waited longer than anticipated and didn't quite get to watch the full showing.....I found myself rushing, Trying to Drive Faster than the Sun could Set. Quite a feeling. Racing the Sunset. But, I was. Topping the Hill - there she stood. All sixty feet of her. In the background was a sun nestling down for the night. I took a picture with my phone and wrote these words before I could even think about it.....
....And the Silence of God is the Beginning of Wisdom.
I watched the colors become even more vibrant as they slowly went into hiding, and I suddenly noticed I was all alone. There was no one there. Me, The towering white sixty foot Cross, the Sunset......well, and God. And I began to write:
And the Silence of God is the Beginning of Wisdom. Meaning? Meaning this: The Silence becomes quiet within it's own strength. True Wisdom begins to be born when we are forced to learn to Trust Him even in His Silence. Knowing He is there even when you can't hear Him. A deep acceptance of not understanding, not comprehending, and not even liking - but having faith that He still remains present. He still remains God. That is the beginning of Maturity. That is the essence of Faith. That is the beginning of Wisdom.
If seeing is believing, then what happens to our faith when we are utterly and ultimately blind? Amidst the deafening silence of unanswered prayers - of not feeling Him, seeing Him, or hearing a word...are we not then faced with an decision? As a new neighbor knocking on a door of a new house - knocking......knocking.....knocking -and we hear no answer. We hear no clatter, no footsteps, no noise - and so we must decide. Do we leave in abandonment or do we wait? Wait. Wait. Wait. Trusting. Believing. Knowing that He is on the other side. Not because we have any evidence of that fact - save that it is a Fact. It is a promise. He has said it and it is so. A promise from a God that cannot Lie.
He IS on the other side of the door. He is in there. Preparing a place before us in the presence of The Enemy. "Making ready a place in His Father's mansions - for if it were not so....he would have told us."
And so we choose to wait. Believing in what seems to be the unbelievable. Not because it makes sense or because we understand it - but because, simply, SIMPLY, it was promised. THAT promise: that He will Never leave us nor Forsake us - can be larger than a feeling of confusion. Deeper than the most painful feeling of abandonment. Louder the most hollow of echos.
Wow - what strength it takes to believe that sometimes. And they say faith is for the weak of spirit......for the weak. Faith for the weak? I laugh. How much strength it takes to have faith as compared to those who are faithless. Believing in Nothing requires much less energy than believing in Something - especially when that something or someone is deathly quiet. Is Silent. A Silent God - but He isn't. Not at all.
Lord, just because you are quiet - doesn't mean you are silent. Help us, Father, to simply understand you. Maybe that is what his next year truly needs to be about. Not about doing something differently or making something happen - but, maybe, it is simply about BEING more of what you would want us to be and taking on the quest of understanding you at a deeper level. No - your silence is not a silence at all. It is simply a quiet place for us to settle. For us to trust. For us to listen......for us to seek Wisdom. In it's beginning. In it's birth.
May it be born - may we be quiet and listen to your Strength. Listening Loudly. Hearing Clearly. Unraveling Wisdom - Sunset by Quiet Sunset.
Hmmmmmm, I wonder - Can you hear it?
Monday, December 29, 2008
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